Saturday, 15 November 2008

• At a crossroads

  And so the saga ensues...we are still going at it. Just got off the phone with him. It was not a happy talk, is all I can say.Strange that he still refers to me as his baby or honey. This is what I have to say: "Well, get your act together, baby - or you'll lose your honey."

  I did lighten up for ONE day. But I guess I'm getting tired of being the one who more-often-than-not waives the white flag or murmurs apologies.He says he feels as if he has to constantly defend himself or his past to me. I feel like my points fly over his head, because his ears don't seem to get it.

  It really isn't about his past mistakes or history...it's about how he chooses to ignore the lessons of his past, thereby effing up his present. Why does all this affect me? It does because I love him and it hurts to see him waste his talents, skills and time on people and ventures that are beneath him and detrimental to me.

  I told him that he should probably figure out his "plan" and work on it, before we can actually consider marriage again. He had tears in his eyes as he said: "I look at you and see so much seething hatred. You don't know what that's like..."

  That's because he has no reason to feel that way with me, no reason at all.

   

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